When our grandsons were born in Colorado, I was invited to visit there and assist with routine household tasks for a few days. Our Denver son and his wife are members of a congenial church where, as in my own church, people are always available to bring meals. Each night we enjoyed a fine home cooked meal complete with dessert, delivered by different ladies in the church.
A new mom has plenty to occupy her time with a baby to care for; so meals prepared by someone else are generally a treat! Also, new parents normally welcome a chance to visit with friends, as they proudly show them that tiny wonder which they have just produced!
When a mother or dad is ill, injured, or recovering from surgery, “meals on wheels” can also be a lifeline. Children still need to eat. A good church fellowship fills the food gap, especially in situations where the children are too young to take over in the kitchen.
But in families with older children, or homes with only a husband and wife, the benefits of meals brought to one’s door are questionable and vary with persons. Some individuals love company and activity going on around them—even when they feel lousy. These socially minded souls may thrive on having someone pop in with food—or even just pop in to visit!
Other individuals, including myself, need solitude. We dearly love people, but we must also have some space around our lives. In any kind of crisis, the need for solitude grows. When I’m physically compromised, it’s heaven on earth for me to just be alone with my husband and family members. It takes every ounce of energy I have to deal with an emergency or health challenge. I simply do not have any energy left over for extra contacts, even brief “drop ins”, during the first days of an illness or emergency.
There is nothing profoundly difficult about opening a salad bag, slicing an apple, and sticking a MARIE CALLANDER® pot pie in the oven—or for that matter, slapping a chuck roast in the crock pot for a 10 hour simmer. These little chores provide an atmosphere of normality, so crucial in emergencies. A few household duties keep me feeling productive. When I’m totally “down and out”, family members prevail.
Along with food delivery, a lengthy phone conversation is more social contact than we solitude lovers desire in times of crisis. A brief call asking if we need anything (either food or a service of some sort) is certainly in order. We love our friends, and truly appeciate their involved concern! And what always works for us? MAIL! Nothing is more welcome than a personal note or email in time of need.
Obviously there are exceptions to all of the above observations. If a person has no close family nearby, outside helpers are needed. For the rest of us, there are times when a garage needs to be swept—or some household task demands attention—and our family members might already be fully occupied with helping. Then an outside volunteer can be an “angel unawares”!
Years ago, my husband spent 5 weeks in the cardiac unit of a hospital and I spent nearly every day at his side. At night I stayed at a guest house near the hospital, where I could be on call. It was hot midsummer the day Joe was scheduled to come home. A friend called and asked if she could do something, in preparation for the homecoming. I thought it would be nice if the windows were opened, to freshen our rooms. Since my friend lived close to our home I mentioned that idea, and told her where to find a key.
When we arrived home later in the day, the windows were wide open—and the curtains were waving gently in freshly aired rooms. I cried with joy, to discover a vase full of meadow flowers on our dining room table. My friend intuitively knew what would mean a lot to both Joe and me!
It helps to remember that not all people are alike. Some folks crave constant social contacts, while others of us need quiet, creative time. Some love to listen to people chatter, while others prefer listening to the wind and rain. I’m in the “wind and rain” category; however, I do thrive on hearing children talk and banter about! Children renew rather than deplete my energy bank!
While some individuals enjoy having the world at their door, and others prefer the companionship of a family member and a dog or cat, it’s always a good plan to call first—to make sure a food delivery is really needed. Also, it’s good when meals have been coordinated so that the volunteer chefs are not all fixing the same dish.
The results of failing to coordinate can be hilarious. After a major surgery in 1983 I was treated to 7 lasagnas—each in a 9 X 13 inch pan, within a 10 day period. Obviously a sick woman eats very little. As for my husband and the small child we still had at home, they got a bit “fed up” with lasagna as well. 
Margaret L. Been, ©2011
