Awhile back, I wrote about how I had given up on a back pain forum because most of the conversation therein had to do with back pain. That may sound odd, as back pain is what directed me to the forum. But my intent was on getting helpful, upbeat information. I had hoped to meet creative people who were living though their health issues with panache and pizzazz. After weeks of giving the forum a try, I got sick of entries that seemed to wallow in infirmities rather than ride triumphantly above them!
Then, after a couple of months, I went back—just to see if anything had changed. Am I ever glad I did, as there is now a daily contributor to the forum—an Englishman—who has made all the difference in the world, for me. Now my forum excursions are a trip—and a delightful one at that.
This gentleman’s name is Rob, and he is a mental health nurse by profession—although he is currently unable to work. Of all the regulars on the forum, he very obviously lives with the most challenging pain. In a system where people wait and wait for their surgeries, he is patiently waiting and making do with prescription meds and whatever activity he can tolerate.
Along with updates on his health issues Rob sometimes posts clips from various URLS which the reader can access: U-Tube presentations and informational websites on the British countryside, customs, festivals, agriculture, etc. Rob frequently describes the countyside around his home, his ancient nearby village, and the age-old local customs. These ”trips” through England are truly theraputic for me, reminding me of 1993 when Joe and I toured 2200 miles of Scottish, English, and Welsh country roads while staying at sheep farms along the way.
Rob’s contribution to the forum proves a case in point, dear to my heart: that understanding an ailment is important, acknowledging an issue matters, and sharing with others who experience similar symptoms can be helpful—BUT after understanding, acknowledging, and sharing, the best medicine is to fill one’s heart and mind with something wonderful. Creative hobbies, joy in the world of nature around us, music, books, gardens, yummy recipes, travel talk, pets, cyber resources—all of these are “the best medicine”.
I will add “visits with friends” to the above list, providing the friends are upbeat. Yet finding upbeat conversation among people my age is a challenge in itself. Many of my contemporaries can talk only of bodily ills—not only their own, but the health problems of everyone else they know. This makes me want to scream. I try to introduce a creative topic, with a “come on” such as, “What are you making these days?” or “What are you reading?” But many of the oldies I know would rather talk about malfunctioning bodies.
If you hear a shrieky/screechy noise issuing out of a condo in Southeastern Wisconsin—over the highways in all direction, maybe even to Iowa and Minnesota—it’s simply me screaming, after fruitlessly trying to steer a social conversation in my living room to something (ANYTHING!) fun, nostalgic, creative, informative, upbeat, charming, and beautiful.
A little creativity, please!
Margaret L. Been, ©2012
