The most essential factor in aging peacefully and enjoying life despite infirmities is the knowledge of the Lord, in the person of Jesus Christ. Knowing that Jesus died on a cross to pay my sin debt, knowing I am loved by God and made righteous is His sight by the death and resurrection of His Son, knowing that Christ lives in me by faith to enable all that will ever be needed for my life—these truths resound in my soul and provide joy and comfort every moment that I live.
Beyond that, we have choices to make and as we grow older this becomes more blatantly evident. We can choose LIFE, up until our last breath when the Lord takes us home to our blessed eternity with Him, or we can refuse to celebrate whatever life we have left—preferring instead to focus on our physical limits.
All the photos on this entry represent something that most anyone can do at any point in life—regardless of formal education or the state of one’s health. Painting, reading, knitting, caring for house plants—and many other creative pastimes as well—do not demand great physical strength. Even if one hasn’t grown up doing these things, they are probably within reach for at least a few minutes every week.
But one has to desire a leisure time occupation. One needs to develop a passion about something—hopefully many “somethings” in order to grow old contentedly, despite the drawbacks and limits that we inevitably incur as we age.
Recently I had a sad conversation with a woman my age who is in exactly the same physical shape that I am in. Like me, she has a disintegrating spine, arthritis in her knees and pelvis, and considerable pain requiring daily medication. Like me, she grows exhausted by the end of each day and welcomes an early bedtime. Like me, this woman is a Christian; she has the certainty of a beautiful forever. Like me, she has family members all around her—in fact she has her own living quarters with a sister and brother-in-law who love her dearly. She has privacy and companionship at the same time: the best of both worlds!
But unlike me, this person has nearly given up on life. Eight years ago she claimed that her life was no longer “any fun”, and now she is even more discouraged. She has no interest, no leisure hobby to deflect attention from her misery. My heart goes out to her. I decline from going on about how exciting and wonderful my life is—every moment, every day—even on the “worst” days in terms of body pain. And yet I wish I could share, and in some way influence this woman to find some pleasant pursuit.
My heart goes out to anyone who suffers from discouragement due to physical limitations. I share the Good News of Jesus Christ whenever I can. And I try to express by example, that LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE OF IT! When we have people to love, medical care, and the material resources we need, we have the potential for a good quality of life—albeit at a slower pace than we formerly enjoyed.
This woman needs a passion in her life—something she loves (and can financially afford) to do. Painting, knitting, and reading are available—the first two at a reasonable cost, and the latter at no cost at all assuming we can access a library! I’m blessed to have had musical training as a child, so my piano is also one of my passions. I have a computer and a background of writing so I can share in words. But even music and writing are skills one can acquire to some degree later in life, without childhood training.
The longer one waits to launch an interest which could be a lifeline in later years, the harder it will be to begin. If I could tell young wives anything—aside from encouraging them to love their husbands and children—it would be this: find a passion, more than one if possible. I would tell people of any age or circumstance to find something interesting and creative that can be done at home, without abandoning responsibilities or zoning out on relationships.
I would advise anyone to find a corner of the home in which to indulge a passion: a basket of yarn and some needles in a corner of the living room, a place for a few books at the bedside, a few indoor plants to nurture, or a card table somewhere in the home for a palette and brushes. One hour a week, or even less, may be all the time one has—but that is better than no time at all!
Constantly I hear tragic refrains : “When my children grow up, I’ll learn to crochet”, or “I don’t have time to read”. A comment which really bewildered me was, “If we ever buy a home with a loft, I’ll take up painting.”
How sad, how ridiculous! I recall raising our six children, and always insisting on a little corner of the kitchen where I could keep my typewriter. My knitting bag fit most anywhere, in any room. Books have always been everywhere, all over our home—for my husband and me as well as for the children. Our first (very used!) piano was a parlor grand, and we lived in an 800 square feet tract home with several small children. Needless to say, this instrument took up a lot of our living room—about 1/3rd to be exact. So what?!!! Our children loved playing UNDER the piano. A grand piano makes a wonderful fort, tent, a place for coloring book and crayons, and a great spot for a little person’s nap! When we view our hobbies as lifelines and survival necessities, we realize that they are non-negotiable. We must and will find space and time for them!
When one has never made space for a passion, physical infirmities will easily become the main focus of his or her life as the years compile. Of course it is never really too late to start a new activity, probably barring a career in ballet or opera. But the longer we wait the more difficult it will become to find an all-consuming source of joy in a hobby or interest which will carry us through the difficult years ahead.
If I could tell the world, I would say, “Start NOW”. However there is one more hindrance which can delay our progress: those self-defeating words, “But I don’t have any talent.”
There I plead guilty. Much of my life, I had a desire to try painting and a passion for the visual arts. I had so many other hobbies and interests, that I was never bereft of excitement and avenues of creative adventure. I wrote, played music, did fiber arts, and read, so my life has always been overflowing with delight. But beneath it all was an idea the I would definitely paint—if I only had the talent!
Ha! Finally, six years ago, something snapped. I decided that talent was not the least bit necessary—I was simply going to have fun. The rest is a history of reading many books on watercolor art, studying great artists from books and on my computer screen, and familiarizing myself with art history—plus practice: sketching, experimenting, and painting nearly every day.
I’m certain that I’ll never hang in Le Louvre, or in any other famous museum. BUT this summer three of my watercolors will be exhibited for six weeks at our local art gallery in Delafield, Wisconsin. These three were juried. We were told we could submit five, but no more than three would be selected (due to available space ) if we were accepted. I thought it would be a miracle if the jury selected even one of my paintings; however three were chosen.
I still know that I have no great talent, but also know that with diligence and dedication I can learn a lot. And I know that, although acceptance for a gallery show is wonderful, it is the DOING that matters—the working toward a goal and learning, little by little, month by month. If I like a painting that I’ve done, it doesn’t matter much whether or not anyone else does—or whether or not anyone else understands what I’m saying through my work. I paint for myself, to please myself, to stretch and grow, and often to surprise myself. Any other affirmations that may come along are simply added attractions!
As long as we are on earth, we have a choice. We can choose to believe in the one and only God, the Lord Jesus who died and rose for us. And we can choose to celebrate whatever we have left of life on earth.
A creative passion . . . don’t grown old without it!
Margaret L. Been, ©2012
Living Abundantly with Illness and Chronic Pain 